I'm even too laizy to find a good answer to this thread!

I know what you mean about wasting time. I'm always looking forward to come home from school, or have a week off or something, and when the time comes, I do absolutely nothing in that free time. I don't study, I don't go out (well, barely), and I just sit here waiting for it's time for bed And sometimes that gets me kinda down too

Well I've been playing LFS since S1 Patch E which is a fair long time. Although I wouldn't say it was the worst descision i've made, it definitly contributed to some bad ones in the future. I was merely addicted to the computer and not doing much around the house, with girl friends, or friends in general. I've been depressed a lot and the divorced parents and mom being on meth in the past was not a good year. I got kicked out of school like Wayne said above, I wasn't dumb either, just didn't take the information in. I got my GED (High School degree equivilancy) and have been going paycheck to paycheck each time. I am only 17 but have yet to decide what I want with the rest of my life. The only thing I have going for me is the love for graphic design of which LFS has discovered and my long lasting passion for cars. This is my rant of what will come next, as I do not know, just thought I'd post my 2 cents and explain my situation aswell.

I wasted most of my life at school. Really. Sitting there half a day... It's a must. I wouldn't mention any games, because I ONLY play with LFS. Nothing else.

I've always wasted my life - I play LFS, but never really been "addicted" per sé. I whore forums as I crave reading new information, and I just used to get in every day and sit in front of my PC until I went to bed. Since I met my GF everything changed, but now i'm either working with School work or seeing her - any "spare" time usually ends up whoring forums or trying to get some money together via eBay (in fact i'm currently designing an eCommerce website for this very reason). I have so little time my PC has been broken for 2 weeks and I've not actually had the time to fix it, and my bike is in a similar way.

Although most of you have probably spent more time procrastinating that i've been alive!

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Although most of you have probably spent more time procrastinating that i've been alive!

I'm not procrastinating, i'm sculpting in my mind.

Yeah... Jack, you waste your life fooling around with a single girl though, that's not fun! You haffto border on being a man-whore, and fool around with many girls, sometimes several in the same day, just to prove that you are as great as your ego says.

@all - I am great.

Quote from thisnameistaken :

I feel like, gradually, computer games and internet forums have dragged me into a state where - once the working day is done - all my free time is too easily consumed by repetitive pleasure-seeking (although most games these days are far from compelling, I still manage to waste my time with them), and/or pointless argument. And I think these distractions, over a prolonged period, have actually made me less functional as a creative force.

They have - your mind has taken over. Procrastination is one way of putting it. I see it as this:

The mind loves to dominate.
The mind loves the virtual.
The mind loves constants and security.
It's only logical. Just like the mind itself.

Then there's the catch: IT jobs create nothing immediately tangible. It's all virtual. Virtual is easy to simulate in your mind and think you have completed the task ahead thus labelling it as "done" and "who gives a **** - I could do it in 10 minutes if I wanted".

The only thing that pulls me out of that shit is:

a. Waking up in the morning and taking time to reflect. Getting out of bed, sitting and letting myself wake up completely before getting into the robotic routine and in motion.

b. Manual labor. Nothing cleans up my head better than manual labor. Even if it's just cleaning up the house. The minute I sense myself getting caught in the sludge I stop everything and pick up a project - make a shelf, carve a piece of wood, oil all the hinges in the building, something. And do it to what I consider satisfactory - not a half-assed attempt, all the way.

c. Other physical activity for those inclined. Cycling. Uphill. It really puts thing in perspective having pulled through the pain of a 1200m climb, taking in the view and knowing you stuck to it and overcame. Likewise you will do the same when you have a task that requires work - you'll stick to it and overcome.

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Am I just getting old?

We all are. The question is - are we losing focus? Are we losing touch with ourselves?

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Does anyone else feel like they've fallen into the same trap?

Yes - every ****ing day - but I'll be ****ed if I let it **** me up.

And with that - I'm off. It's still daytime.

We do seem to be a sad lot here

But a couple of people have hit the nail on the head here - If you're a bit down - then change it. Don't look to what you've done in the past - look to the future

Reading this has made me feel just how lucky I am. I get good grades, I have lots of good friends, I don't have a job (good thing atm ), my parents get me lots of good stuff, go on nice holidays and things - now it kinda really comes home that most people aren't as lucky as me

And yes, LFS has kinda ruined my life too

That's whats called the start of "Yer Mid-Life Crisis" Kev. And it happens to the best of us, so don't worry too much, unless it's something that's making you genuinely depressed.

Thing to remember is, you can't go back in time and 'un-waste' everything you consider wasteful. The past is the past, what's done has been done. The trick is not to dwell on the past too much, move on, and start living from the here and now.

Try writing out a list of all the things you'd really really like to do or achieve in your life, then start making the neccessary plans to do them, then, just do em. Have a good long hard think of the things in life that you consider worthy and fulfilling, then, as long as they're legal, point your life in that direction and go for it.

This is gonna sound really trite, but, if you're searching for true happiness and true contentment, then you'll only find it in one place. And that's in your own heart. If you're comfortable in your own skin, then you never have to live up to other peoples or even societies expectations of yourself. Learn to love yourself first, then you'll find it much easier to love the life you live. And don't be ashamed of who you are, whoever or whatever you are.

But, it's important to set yourself goals, something to reach for, something to attain. Otherwise you might as well curl up into a ball and die. A man without hope is well and truely hopeless. But if you're aware that things aren't quite right, then change them. Its as simple as that. And you are the only one that can change yourself, no one else can. It's up to you !

This all reminds me of something I used to say alot to people who where gloomy.

Live in the now, two persons can go through the same thing but have a very different experience. Imagine two people at a busstop, the bus is late, one of the two is totally stressed out and only looking in the direction he's expecting the bus to come from, while the other just shrugs his shoulders the bus will come by it self nothing he can change about it at that moment and just enjoys the nice sun overhead and spots a bird gathering twiggs for a nest (or what ever)...

Your view on the world changes your experience of it. If there is a problem you can't fix a this time or moment leave it be for now and focus on something else. Be in control of your own mind

Not to say your not aloud be feel gloomy now and then. With every up there is a down. If there are no downs there are no ups.. all would be grey blur...

Maybe I just read one book to many

Quote from Mazz4200 :

That's whats called the start of "Yer Mid-Life Crisis" Kev. And it happens to the best of us, so don't worry too much, unless it's something that's making you genuinely depressed.

Fun fact, the mid-life crises starts in men when their other half start menopause, it is the time when before marriage we'd move on to a more fertile partner (I can't remember where I read it, though most probably BBC News, they had test couples ranging in ages from old man, young woman, about same age man and woman, old woman young man, and the men's "mid-life crises" always happened when the women hit menopause), which is why we go for sports cars and what have you, it is to attract younger wimmenz.

As for wasting my life, I am 22, and I feel that I have wasted 21 years of it. It wasn't until my second year in University that I was beaten into actually living my life because my house mates didn't like the idea I was so reclusive. But a lot of choices I have made in life I am regretting, some a lot more than others.

Er...

I'm 33. I would've thought that was too young to have a mid-life crisis. I think I have got a bit too complacent with my job and some other aspects of my life, and it's frustrating me, and I'm ready to move on to something new. I wouldn't say I was depressed or gloomy, just fed up or jaded.

I miss doing creative things with my time, but I'm also a bit scared of sucking at it. So maybe I do things with my spare time that are less risky. I think that's part of it anyway.

Right: Get this work out of the way and do something less boring with my evening...

Nah, a mid-life crisis has nothing to do with age per se, it's simply a name for a point in your life when you feel :-

1. Discontent with life and/or the lifestyle that may have provided happiness for many years
2. Boredom with things/people that have hitherto held great interest and dominated your life
3. Feeling adventurous and wanting to do something completely different
4. Questioning the meaning of life, and the validity of decisions clearly and easily made years before
5. Confusion about who you are, or where your life is going.

(obvious C&P but thats basically the definition of the term)

Some will say it happens when you hit 40, but just about every '30something' i know has gone through these feelings in the last few years, including myself. and i'm 40 next year It's nothing to be ashamed of, honestly.

I think we should rally Vic for a "Kev" forum, so we can admire his creative genius because we know he has it in him.

Kev, I think you need to go buy a Caterham as your mid-race crisis and then be happy as you drive it from Moscow to Gibraltar, through Italy, over Austria, around Nordeschliefe. You can be creative, just go... yeah, pick up that Bass, and just play it, fool around, mimic a song that has a good bass line.

A mid life crises has nothing to do with the men, it is the woman they are with.

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8. The midlife crisis is a myth—sort of

Many believe that men go through a midlife crisis when they are in middle age. Not quite. Many middle-aged men do go through midlife crises, but it's not because they are middle-aged. It's because their wives are. From the evolutionary psychological perspective, a man's midlife crisis is precipitated by his wife's imminent menopause and end of her reproductive career, and thus his renewed need to attract younger women. Accordingly, a 50-year-old man married to a 25-year-old woman would not go through a midlife crisis, while a 25-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman would, just like a more typical 50-year-old man married to a 50-year-old woman. It's not his midlife that matters; it's hers. When he buys a shiny-red sports car, he's not trying to regain his youth; he's trying to attract young women to replace his menopausal wife by trumpeting his flash and cash.

Source.

Quote from thisnameistaken :

Er...

I'm 33. I would've thought that was too young to have a mid-life crisis. I think I have got a bit too complacent with my job and some other aspects of my life, and it's frustrating me, and I'm ready to move on to something new. I wouldn't say I was depressed or gloomy, just fed up or jaded.

I miss doing creative things with my time, but I'm also a bit scared of sucking at it. So maybe I do things with my spare time that are less risky. I think that's part of it anyway.

Right: Get this work out of the way and do something less boring with my evening...

Hehe, mid life crisis it is then, I am 34 and feel the same Kev

Well, I felt the same way in my mid-20s, switched careers and moved to a new town, didn't buy a sports car! I think it's probably normal to want a change from time to time.

What really bothers me is what I do with my spare time. I don't have kids, just other family members who need me for stuff so most of my spare time really is mine, but I feel like all I've done is piss it all up the wall for the last few years.

Knowing that I want to do something different, but not actually doing it. Why the **** would I do that? I do get frustrated with myself sometimes.

Just a thought, but if you want to do something 'worthy' how about doing some voluntary work in your spare time. Go help feed the homeless or visit the elderly or something.

Have a look here http://www.csv.org.uk/ it might give you a few ideas

Quote from thisnameistaken :

all my free time is too easily consumed by repetitive pleasure-seeking

That happened to me too. In my case it was an escape from a job I didn't like, but couldn't quit for practical reasons (family, mortgage, etc.) I felt like I was stuck, but couldn't face the facts. Games and TV were just tranquillizers, and only added to the problem because they cost me hours of sleep.

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Anyone else find they hide windows containing anything they've created from spouses/significant others if they suddenly enter the room unexpectedly?

No, and I find it worrying that you do. It's normal to become more critical of what you created, because your knowledge and experience grow -- but your skills should grow too. And some folks have always been too afraid/self-critical to publish their work; they were built that way -- but you're not one of them.

If you have become scared of showing new stuff to others, even your SO, then you lost an important way to build your self-esteem. Things you do in your job can also give a sense of accomplishment, but (judging from the Smiths quote in your profile) I guess they don't. IMHO you should think long and hard why you get scared.

Thought experiment: Imagine making a big change in your life. A career in a different field (writer, musician?) Moving to another country. Studies. Travel. Or a different SO. Ponder the changes. You may reject all of them, but what's important is how good your reasons are for rejecting them.

If all else fails: start a family. All these worries become futile when there is an infant crying in the house. (Warning: when the diaper days are over, they problem returns with a vengeance.)

Quote from Mazz4200 :

Just a thought, but if you want to do something 'worthy' how about doing some voluntary work in your spare time. Go help feed the homeless or visit the elderly or something.

I used to volunteer for a local charity which provided respite care for families with disabled kids. It was fun, but my god it was tiring. You wouldn't think kids in wheelchairs could tire you out so much!

I don't think that's going to help anyway. I want to get my spare time back - not give it away. I give blood regularly and that's as charitable as I'm feeling right now.

Quote from wsinda :

If you have become scared of showing new stuff to others, even your SO, then you lost an important way to build your self-esteem. Things you do in your job can also give a sense of accomplishment, but (judging from the Smiths quote in your profile) I guess they don't. IMHO you should think long and hard why you get scared.

Thought experiment: Imagine making a big change in your life. A career in a different field (writer, musician?) Moving to another country. Studies. Travel. Or a different SO. Ponder the changes. You may reject all of them, but what's important is how good your reasons are for rejecting them.

That's pretty good advice. Thanks man.

I actually think fear has become a huge motivator for me. Maybe even the only one.

Funnily enough, when I started this thread I expected much more of you to have the same feelings I have. I thought I would feel much better when I found out you were all just as pathetic as I am. Whoops!

I do know how you feel Kev. I had ample opportunity to work on an album the three years I was in Istanbul, everything was set up and ready to go. It's a dream I've been pursuing for years, however I believe fear (of creating something below standard) and laziness held me back somewhat (as well as some minor ear problems). Checking out the latest computer games and trawling through internet forums was just easier and the continuous call/response of a really chatty and active forum such as LFS drew me in way too much and ate up endless amounts of time.

I didn't really have many friends in Istanbul, and the friends I had were all girls, so I used LFS forum for male bonding (talking about cars, technology etc).

It's a kind of trap, it's like WoW or something, it's addicting because of it's close knit sociability. Sometimes you gotta just pull the plug and get on with other stuff in life.

On the bright side, you've achieved funniest person status on an active internet forum of thousands, which is no mean feat. Also, remember that free-time has been the dream of mankind for centuries, so perhaps you're just claiming the goal

Quote from Electrik Kar :

I didn't really have many friends in Istanbul, and the friends I had were all girls

I believe the most suitable response here is "bastard".

I'm only 17 and I'm already starting to feel like I've wasted time. If I could go back to middle school knowing what I know now I would kick so much ass at life.

By this time next year I'll be in Marines boot camp. It will probably be one of the first things I'll ever truly persevere through and truly earn. I usually give up on things I start except (for some reason) extreme physical and mental challenges. I don't think its possible to feel like you've wasted your life when you've served your country to the best of your ability, but we'll see.

My real advice to this whole thread is love yourself. Don't spend your time trying to be what someone else wants or expects, - be yourself.

If you can be comfortable being you, whatever that is, then your getting there.

It really doesn't matter where you are or how much money you do or don't have. Just be happy with where you are, look ahead and accept where you want to be and move yourself there, and always remember that age is meaningless.

After all, time is movement, nothing more.

If all that fails, try drugs - lol !!!!!!!!

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Funnily enough, when I started this thread I expected much more of you to have the same feelings I have. I thought I would feel much better when I found out you were all just as pathetic as I am. Whoops!

I think this probably applies to a lot of people too: I have every reason to be pathetic, but no desire to be so.