Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well. Waking up on that  morning, I went downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be  pleasant, say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for  me. 
 
As it turned out, She barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy  Birthday.' I thought, Well, that's marriage for you. The kids though,  they'll remember. 
 
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So  when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. 
 
As I walked into my office, My secretary Jane said, "Good morning, boss.  And by the way, happy birthday!". I felt a little better that at least  someone had remembered. 
I worked until one o'clock. When Jane knocked on my door and said, "You  know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it IS your birthday, what  do you say we go out to lunch? Just you and me..." I said, "Thanks,  Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" 
 
We went to lunch, but we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose  instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis  each, and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. 
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a  beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do  we?"  
 
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's  drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner..." After arriving at  her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm  going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back."  "Well, all right...," I nervously replied. 
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out  carrying a huge birthday cake, followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens  of my friends, and my co-workers, all singing Happy Birthday. 
 
And I just sat there. 
 
On the couch. 
 
Naked.