The BBC have confirmed that Tiger Woods was involved in a car crash today when his car hit a water hazard and ended up in the trees at the end of his dog legged 300 yard drive. Unconfirmed reports so far have failed to pinpoint his car, but early suggestions point to a Caddy or a VW Golf. Apparently he was sitting in his wrecked car for ages, because nobody came to help, they couldn't see the Woods for the trees.

Woods is not suffering any major injuries, although he will be feeling a bit rough for the next few days, and suffering from some cuts to the face that he would have wished to have avoided, doctors have said it was a close shave for woods.


BREAKING NEWS: Apparently Tiger Woods did not even pass his test; unconfirmed reports says he had 14 Majors and 128 Minors.

I hereby apologise for all puns involved, and promise to take life a bit more seriously from now on.

Is that really true?

Funny stuff, just read today he is cheating his wife with some 9/11 celebrity bimbo and karma allready tries to put him in a hole.

Hole 18th?

Quote from Blas89 :

Hole 18th?

No, obviously after he'd been to the 19th...

I'm confused.

I heard the ambulance ran out of fuel because it was a fair way from the scene to the hospital.

Quote from Noccy :

with some 9/11 celebrity

Quote from amp88 :

I heard the ambulance ran out of fuel because it was a fair way from the scene to the hospital.

want me to get your coat?

Maybe he was chasing a birdie?

And some of these jokes have been well under par.


Sorry i'll make my own way out.

Those puns were totally out of bounds. Just thought I would pitch in with my own painful wordplay. I would say that they are amazing, but I think that would probably be a bit of a dodgy lie.

You guys need to putt these silly jokes to bed

I heard there was a problem with his tyres. There was a hole in one...

Quote from AlienT. :

You guys need to putt these silly jokes to bed

You've hooked this thread into a hazard my friend!

I guess he didn't have his Driver.

Quote from Gills4life :

You've hooked this thread into a hazard my friend!

Yeah, how dare he try to take a slice of this thread.

Quote from amp88 :

Yeah, how dare he try to take a slice of this thread.

He quite forcibly wedged himself in I think/

Quote from mcintyrej :

He quite forcibly wedged himself in I think/

And then putted himself into a hole.

Well at least he'll have a good lie in his hospital bed while recovering. Although he's a fairway from home the nurse can bring him a nice cup of tee in the morning, he takes fore sugars.

Maybe he was drunk, too many Long Island Ice Tees.

Or perhaps he had his car set-up wrong, maybe too much wedge caused him to bunker of the road when he was driving.

Anyway who gives an Albatross.

Anyone else want to chip-in with any more nonsense, thankfully my eagle eyes spotted this thread

Quote from Noccy :

Funny stuff, just read today he is cheating his wife with some 9/11 celebrity bimbo and karma allready tries to put him in a hole.

Well thats just the preffered lie thats going around at the moment, Tiger and his agents will caddy-gorically deny this.

Apparently this morning, Tiger was feeling a bit Woosie this morning.

He was in the car with his wife Esmerelda and 3 Spanish friends. Raul wasn't injured it was only Miguel, Angel, Him and Ez.

NEWS FLASH a second vehicle may have been involved. Police suggest a truck or perhaps a (Paul) Lawrie.

Quote from AlienT. :

Well at least he'll have a good lie in his hospital bed while recovering. Although he's a fairway from home the nurse can bring him a nice cup of tee in the morning, he takes fore sugars.

Maybe he was drunk, too many Long Island Ice Tees.

Or perhaps he had his car set-up wrong, maybe too much wedge caused him to bunker of the road when he was driving.

Anyway who gives an Albatross.

Anyone else want to chip-in with any more nonsense, thankfully my eagle eyes spotted this thread

FORE!!! heaven's sake :rolleyes:

Quote from Gills4life :

FORE!!! heaven's sake :rolleyes:

Yeah, this thread should be put in the bunker.

I bet he was eating a sand wedge while driving

If he would die, there werent be such jokes about him.

Quote from TurboBlaster :

If he would die, there werent be such jokes about him.

...Thats a joke, right?

Quote from TurboBlaster :

If he would die, there werent be such jokes about him.

He'll be fine he's made of irons.