What's a drifter's favourite drink
A cup of Twinnings

/bump, btw

What's blue and not very heavy?

Light blue!

A chinaman and a jew are drinking at a bar when the jew gets nasty. "You mother****ers ought to be ashamed of yourselves for Pearl Harbor. Sneaky little shits, bombing all of those innocent sailors, **** you." The chink replied, "Hey! Wait a minute, that wasn't us! I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was done by Japanese." The jew said, "Ahh, Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the chink says, "Well, what about your people? Sinking the Titanic and killing all those helpless women and children, I should **** you up right here." The kike exclaimed, "What the hell are you yapping about? Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, you jackass!" The chink said, "Ahh, iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

A group of friars went downtown and decided to open a floral shop next to an already opened floral shop down the road. Suddenly the friar's floral shop's business started to boom. In response the other floral shop hired Huge to drive the friars floral shop out of business and Huge did just that through safe means. So remember kids, only Huge can stop florist friars.

Quote from atlantian :

A chinaman and a jew are drinking at a bar when the jew gets nasty. "You mother****ers ought to be ashamed of yourselves for Pearl Harbor. Sneaky little shits, bombing all of those innocent sailors, **** you." The chink replied, "Hey! Wait a minute, that wasn't us! I'm Chinese. Pearl Harbor was done by Japanese." The jew said, "Ahh, Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" So the chink says, "Well, what about your people? Sinking the Titanic and killing all those helpless women and children, I should **** you up right here." The kike exclaimed, "What the hell are you yapping about? Jews didn't sink the Titanic, it hit an iceberg, you jackass!" The chink said, "Ahh, iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

Did atlantian get banned for this?

Quote from lizardfolk :

Did atlantian get banned for this?

Banned not banned, whats the difference?

<3 Cheap Chinese exports

Quote from lizardfolk :

Did atlantian get banned for this?

Who cares? Let's celebrate!

Quote from atlantian :

A chinaman and a jew are drinking[...]

lol what a bad joke.. wait.. this is bad jokes thread .

On GunSmoke (an old Western TV show), Festus walks in to town naked. The sheriff asks Festus what are you doing?

Festus replied, that "Kitty told me to do it." He continued:

"I saw Kitty lying down in field and though she was hurt, but she was just drunk from trying out a new drink for her bar. She must have had trouble breathing because she ask me to undress her, which I did. Next she told me to get undressed and go to town, and here I am".

Back when Bill Clinton was President, Dennis Rodman visited the white house and Bill asked Dennis what his secret was that acctracted so many women. Dennis said he just whip it out and bang the bedpost to impress the women. That night Bill tried the same thing and Hillary exclaimed, "oooh, is that you Dennis?".

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get the other side. lololzzz so funny!

Ad that never made it to TV:

Announcer: "Hey Johnny Weir, ben gay?"

Johnny: "Sure, I use it to warm up before every competition."

Two gay men (Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Affleck?) see a dog licking itself. One of them states "I wish I could do that", but the other cautions, "I think you should pet the dog first".

One one of the many occasions when my wife wanted to complain to me about some chore she wanted me to do, she did so while I was watching a TV commercial. I wasn't paying attention to her and she asked "are you going to listen to me or watch some stupid commercial?", then she looked at the TV and saw it was a Victoria's Secret commerical. I didn't have to say anything. She ended up lauging.

It's white and red and it Fly's what is it?

A airplane with a nose bleed

worse joke in south park ever...
''Why did the chicken cross the road? it had aids! ha hah ha ha...''

Quote from lizardfolk :

A group of friars went downtown and decided to open a floral shop next to an already opened floral shop down the road. Suddenly the friar's floral shop's business started to boom. In response the other floral shop hired Huge to drive the friars floral shop out of business and Huge did just that through safe means. So remember kids, only Huge can stop florist friars.

Haha (OK, maybe it's because google ads have either no geolocation or it's shite).

Quote :

Did atlantian get banned for this?

Probably :P

It's yellow and blue*, and if you get one in your eye, you die. What is it?

An intercity train.

*: You may need to adapt the colours to local conditions.

Quote from Tommy Cooper :

On the other hand... I've got four fingers and a thumb.

ok some JewJokes (sorry if somone offended)

How do u put 20 jews in a 2CV?
U put 2 in front, 2 in the back en the rest in the ashtray

Three men called Pardon, Manners and Trouble.

Pardon and Manners lose Trouble one day so they go to the police station. Pardon goes inside whilst Manners waits outside.

The policeman asks, "Whats your name?"

Pardon replies, "Pardon".

The policeman again asks, "Whats your name?"

Pardon confused replies, "Pardon".

The policeman stands up and says, "Are you looking for trouble?"

Pardon simply says "Yep".

Policeman quickly says, "Wheres your manners?"

Pardon calmly replies, "He's sitting out on the doorstep".


You wanted a bad joke.

Quote from beefyman666 :

You wanted a bad joke.

I laughed.

Ur momma is so fat dora couldnt explora

A guy walks into the psychiatrists wrapped in clingfilm....

The doctor says "I can clearly see your nuts"

Two peanuts were walking down the road. Suddenly the other one was attacked. He was assaulted peanut.

I've got an idea! A light bulb joke! Ha....

Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.