What is a Markov chain?
It's a very complicated mathematical formula. I won't even pretend to understand how it works. But...

Markov chains can be used to generate text, often with hilarious results. For example, here's the first part of a corporate transcript:

Quote :

Thank you and good afternoon. I'm Derrick Nueman, TiVo's head of Investor Relations. With me today are Tom Rogers, CEO, Anna Brunelle, CFO, Naveen Chopra, VP of Business Development and Strategy, and Matt Zinn, General Counsel. We are here today to discuss TiVo's second quarter results ending July 31, 2009....

Now run thought a Markov chain generator:

Quote :

Thank you and Strategy, and 8-K detailing our financial results. We have a financial results. We have also released a recording of Investor Relations. With me today to discuss TiVo's second quarter results ending July 31, 2009. We have a question-and-answer session after. Thank you and Strategy, and Strategy, and Matt Zinn, General Counsel. We have also released a question-and-answer session after. Thank you and key metric summary...

Odd, but fairly boring, right? Let's try that same piece, but let's combine it with, I don't know... some erotic fiction!

Quote :

Thank you and Matt Zinn, General Counsel. We have a press release and Matt Zinn, General Counsel. We are here today are here today are here today on our financial results. We have also released a recording of Business Development and then we'll have just distributed a press release and his back, but he didn't notice, his ear, biting the edge. I whispered into his back, but he didn't notice, his ear, biting the Investor Relations. With me today on the edge of the tub, loving him back now, grinding my ****, I whispered into my pussy throbbing for it, wanting it, aching for it, aching for it, my hips down into his. When his finger eased into the lobe, gnawing at his back, but he didn't notice, his back, but he didn't notice, his finger eased into my pussy throbbing for release. Thank you and his other hand slid around behind me closer to discuss TiVo's second quarter results ending July 31, 2009.

Oddly appealing...

How about the description of LFS found on lfs.net, combined with even more erotic fiction?

Quote :

Live for a front wheel driven road car and the movement she said. Half an hour it lasted, and cars and a rallycross course. The DEMO allows you access to making the thrill and cars make for Speed is a small development team dedicated to her vagina and one rear wheel driven road car and I was panting. "Ssshhhhh…" she said. Half an abundance of her lips, I was in LFS S2? The DEMO allows you find in control. So what will you access to making the best online racing environments and fun of her finger and fun of options.

Best one I've made so far!

You can make your own! Don't just go down the erotic route like me, the possibilities are endless. I find the best way to do this is to get 2 big chunks of unrelated text, paste them into the box then generate 100 words.

http://www.doctornerve.org/nerve/pa.../mrkvform.shtml
http://www.haykranen.nl/projects/markov/demo/
http://www.eskimo.com/~rstarr/poormfa/markov.html
http://www.yisongyue.com/shaney/ (This one formats your text line to include line breaks!)
http://www.beetleinabox.com/mkv_input.html

Have fun, and post your best results here. Oh, and yes, I did steal a lot of this from another forum. Hopefully everyone will be okay with the rude language.

Once upon the dirges of yore Meant in croaking `Nevermore.' `Be that one gently you came tapping, as a bird said, `art sure I pondered the weak and radiant maiden with the pallid bust and followed faster.

What the ****.

Oooh! I get it. Gimme a second

i lost track on the first quote ill get it soon, lemme think about it for a sec

The LFS one is a bit funny, the other ones not so much.

It scrambles text, but it does it so the sentences are still correct gramatically etc.

Yesterday, Love was possible that would be better when you that the reasons for yesterday. Suddenly, I'm not have been wondering what we got to use realistic values that the old tyre model would not have been wondering what happened to use realistic to stay, Oh, yesterday came suddenly. Why she wouldn't say. I don't know, she wouldn't say. I need to stay, Oh, yesterday came to look into a place to update. Also the main issues were working on similar real world cars much better and feel with the model to hide away, Oh, I don't know, she Had to use realistic values that Live for this was possible that a place to be updated.

So we could not make the default setups to look into a bit of the testing and why : the new tyre physics model handle as the new tyre physics to update. Also the default setups to stay, Oh, I long for Speed will be done and refinement to update. Also the reasons why : While we found that the testing and feel with greater realism. After some time went on, as a completely new model to slot into a shadow hanging over me, Oh, I need a place to stay, Oh, I said, Something wrong, now I long for this period we found on the main issues were working on, as time went on, as more realistic values that the new tyre model handle as more realistic values that we got to be done and why : While we found that a new VW Scirocco still need to stay, Oh, I need to the cars much load while the way forces are pleased to our beta testers.

Their verdict is intended as a place to announce that the old programming needed to go I don't know, she Had to play, Now it looks as time we were sorted out. During this was such an easy game to use realistic values that the default setups to look into a new VW Scirocco in yesterday. Suddenly, I'm not have been wondering what we cannot yet give a place to assure you do get the LFS model makes the default setups to play, Now it to make the testing and finally released it looks as time went on, as time went on, as a place to be found that the old programming needed to update. Also the cars much better and feel with the main issues were sorted out. That did not have been a place to go I said, Something wrong, now I need a release date.

This news item is currently in improved handling and refinement stage. Many community members have been wondering what we cannot yet give a stage where we got to go I need to assure you do get the testing and feel with the new VW Scirocco in improved handling and to look into a completely new tyre model makes the way forces are produced from the new VW Scirocco.

LFS.net and Yesterday from the Beatles.

It's not just humor, of course - the first 6 chapters of My Immortal and Act 1 of Shakespeare's The Tempest:

I stepped from the boy's throat. It had the glow of the Satanic color of night. The boy was talented. He could do was hang up. Militant. That is what is inhuman, not me. The idea finally sprang into my mind. I laugh at you. I will call you a hypocrite. You have experienced the terrible pain. All at different levels. I know that all you people have contemplated suicide at least once. I did contemplate and try. I realized that I am their savior. I keep children from experiencing the torments of adolescence and adulthood. Call me insane. Now I just float here, in the window began to relax eternally.. Soon enough, the police found the man was watching TV. Some old horror classics were on. The man was bewildered to the point of delirium. I hugged the boy as soon as the victim was approaching. Some old, drunken man was walking down the gutter from the back to make major repairs and we had to have that room. Not by choice believe me. The idea finally sprang into my house in a few seconds that seemed centuries, his body tensed. He scratched at me. He tried to get out. It is eternal punishment for taking away the most important thing God gave humans. I only with I could say when John lifted the phone was, "Willy-" "Grandpa," I heard a scream in her neighbor's house and I guess she never left her house and the newly cut lawn. His headless body was self-imposed. I loaded a pistol, and put it to my soul. I had plenty of friends. Ones that cared for me, not only my money. I had a tail. The tail was a lashing terror and pain deliverer. The figure on the couch, not moving. He felt that if he did, the thing he was done with him mumbling. A neighbor of the rush. My teeth were observable as a toddler. The moon was unusually bright and the bully would be killed as he was scared of, whatever it was, would come to and find him. True terror. His eyes were glued to the hay mow and staircase. Billy's neck exploded with blood vessels vomited their liquid. "Compliments of The Artist," the figure said as it walked away. They said I was holding nothing. I rubbed my eyes, and retreated in shock and bewilderment. I went back into his skin, squirting blood in spatters. Yellow liquid suddenly erupted from the ravages of another day of pain. It was driving me insane. Now I just float here, in the air and was adjusting to the bed, I heard a shell hit the screen and dripped down. Rogue stopped squirming and had no pulse. His chest showed no movement. He was rambling on, mumbling nonsense. What could I do? My brain! His body! He screamed with all our feelings there. More tears than giggles.

Good stuff. The bold is the gold, but read it all and pretend that it makes sense

Erotic C++ programming tutorial fiction:

He admired her eyes, but she couldn't help anyone else reading her code 15 minutes later. After, I am going to pause the marketplace we are doing. We will work and slide down. He slid into your text from now, she thought, Your text to pass the comment ends here. I find the same code.

Sarah was going to game programming. Something out of functions, to write long, she'd been with David. The bed shook underneath them. "And you will analyze data and then break down what each part does!" he said, Sarah writhing against him. Sarah still felt it. You write a need for snooping. Programming is the smirk on his face. He pulled out. Others will work, as it will get this output. He held her breasts. She walked on top of the code! The comments explain when you are going to the right place. This website has a slash after.

This is what happens when you combine an angry Jenson Button with The Smiths...

"For sure, 22 reckons Button by rags
But we have
And everything that really helps is that seriously.

"What is not a questions."

Asked to me
And if the previously.

"What I would like to win the European Grand in glove I stake my arm, you little battle.

"Who would like to do now is not like to the previously.

"What I would like touch a hair on you have gone is different - because it's us
Hand in the last breath
If they'll probably never see you again
Oh, I really helps is not giving up on the title or not? It is a pretty silly don't know and I really helps us
Hand in glove
This one is different - because it's not a question is feeling position, so will talk about it helps us. We are say that seriously.

"I think people star, who has seen his lead over team-mate Rubens Barrichello reduced to me
And I'll probably never seen his lead over have
Hand in glove
This one is out the Good People laugh
Yes, we may be hidden by rag.

"For sure, 25 points.

"I think one things can change.

Vettel had pumped up the pressure on Button by rags
Button hasn't score big points think we are always silly question voluntarily."
Button's claim that? Does Jenson want to win the title.

"Who would possibly never have
Hand in glove
Then you have
And I'll probably say that? Does Jenson want to finish second or third.

"I think we are in glove
Then we will push and I really don't know my arm, you again
I'll fight to the last four head
I'll fight. We will fight to those 18 points in the last breath
If the previous seven.

"I think one there are saying that was wrong but, in the people stand up and walk about it helps is that he cut to finish second or think we are in the people are in the title.

He declared: "I things can go where are saying after his desire to race. You don't care
Kiss My Shades ...
Then the pressure on Button's claim that he cut across him in the last breath
If they dare to the title battle.

"For sure, 25 points following the heat of our behinds
Yes, we may be hidden by rags
But we've something the title or not? It is not like any other love
Then the pressure on Button by rags
But we've something they'll never see you again
I'll probably never see you stand up the Brawn GP star, who has seen his lead cut to there are always silly question is a pretty silly questioned.

"Why the f*** am I here touch a hair on your head
I'll fight to the last breath
If they dare touch a hair on you have
And in glove
The Good Life is out of points is not easy to me
And every consistent in the title was fuming they'll fight to finish second or third.

Earlier Red Bull rival Sebastian Vettel had pumped up the pressure on Button by rags
But we have to win the boil!

The sun shines out of our behinds
Yes, we may be hidden by rags
But we've something him: You have gone off the boil!

"I don't know and I really helps us. We are here something they'll never we have a good Life is not like any other love
The Brazilian's triumph in glove I stake my claim that is not a question is it?

"I don't know and I really helps is not a questioned.

"For sure, 25 points that Jenson has managed just 11 points after his desire to scored a lot of the European Grand then we please
And if the people stare
Oh, I really don't care
Kiss My Shades
Hand if the people stare
Then the races without a victory, blasted: "I am not easy to make up but, in the end, it's not like any other love
Hand in the Good People stare
The Good People laugh
Yes, we may be hidden by rags
But we've seen very consistent form suggested he did not want to win the end, it helps us. We will have a good People laugh
Yes, we may be hidden by rags
But we've something depends upon
How near you little charmer
But we've somewhere
So stay on your heat of our behinds
No, it helps is this weekend."

The Formula One championship pacesetter his rag.

Earlier Red Bull rival Sebastian Vettel had pumped up the pressure on Button's lead over team-mate Rubens Barrichello react to claim that he cut across him in the end, it helps us. We are touch a hair on Button's losing they'll probably never see you again
I'll probably never have
Hand in the people stare
This one is different in the hunting position is it? Does Jenson want to win the run of results has seen Button's triumph in Valencia six days ago.

The Brawn GP star, who has managed just 11 points is not easy to make up but we've somewherever we may be hidden by rags
But we've something the Brawn GP stare
Oh, I really helps is not easy to make up a pretty silly helps us. We will have to score big points.

"I think we are here to react to the pressure, 25 points in the title battle.

The German ace, 22 reckons Barrichello reduced to the last few races. He hasn't it?

"What I would position, so will have one is desire to race to do now what was questioned.

"Why the first corner at the races. He hasn't scored a lot of points thi