What is it with number 2's? What is it about going for a number 2 away from home?

Today, I had to go at work at the magic number 2 time which is of course 11am. The bogs at work are clean which is nice but in the toilet, there's the hole where the water comes out when you flush, and it's at the top at the front...right where percy goes so unless you think of Anne Widdecome and push it inward, it ends up going into this scummy hole.

What's more than that, why are there always other people having number two's? They make it some sort of competition...who can stink the restroom out first, who can wipe first, or flush the least...I mean, what the heck?

Also, how come when I get home, I need to go again, despite not eating anything since 8am - only to find we had no loo roll. It was about 8:15 by the time I got home from work, so both Co-ops, Sainsburys, Tescos and their petrol stations were all shut. As a last desperate measure I went to my Mums house to borrow some extra soft and finally was able to relieve myself.

Morale of this story is never go shopping for toilet paper on New Years Eve.

Number two's what?

Quote from Crashgate3 :

Number two's what?

There ya go, mate.

That was like reading a script from a austin powers movie.

Quote from Sueycide_FD :

That was like reading a script from a austin powers movie.

Haha yeah, after reading it again, it does really

The loos at my old job was quite nice. But they were replaced because they were apparently causing a loss of productivity.

So they ended up being these massive stainless steel jobbies which you couldn't actually sit on unless you have an American arse. After that I'd try my hardest to get home to poop. But generally I won't poop away from home.

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

There ya go, mate.

I was more being a grammar nazi over the unnecessary apostrophe

Quote :

grammar nazi

Quote from Crashgate3 :

I was more being a

Well this is a load of shit..

Control your number two's, don't let them control you.

Quote from 91mason91 :

well this is a load of shit..

+1..

Quote from PMD9409 :

Control your number two's, don't let them control you.

I have two words for you. Chocolate. Rain.

:hide:

I like to hold my poos in until I'm at work. Then I can be paid to shit and not have no pay to replace the toilet roll either.

Quote from Bob Smith :

I like to hold my poos in until I'm at work. Then I can be paid to shit and not have no pay to replace the toilet roll either.

this only makes sense when the loo roll at work is not the equivilent of sand paper.

"Badger's Arse brand bog-roll - use it and they'll shit on their own time"

Quote from Crashgate3 :

"Badger's Arse brand bog-roll - use it and they'll shit on their own time"

Wow this seems to be a genuine product.

Quote from PMD9409 :

Control your number two's, don't let them control you.

Listen to PMD, he trains his poo.

Quote from S14 DRIFT :

I have two words for you. Chocolate. Rain.

:hide:

I see you let it control you then, I am sad to hear that.

Quote from BAMBO :

Listen to PMD, he trains his poo.

Correct.

Lol

im always out and about so service station toilets

At a place I worked at, there was a "Phantom shitter" who would shit, wipe but not flush. We all had a poll going on who it was. The guy I had my money on left but the lack of flushing continued. I lost.

Quote from The General Lee :

At a place I worked at, there was a "Phantom shitter" who would shit, wipe but not flush. We all had a poll going on who it was. The guy I had my money on left but the lack of flushing continued. I lost.

Or he came back to poo, showing his genius because someone else took the blame.

Quote from Bob Smith :

I like to hold my poos in until I'm at work. Then I can be paid to shit and not have no pay to replace the toilet roll either.

Never work on company time and never shit on your own!

Great life philosophy to follow.

Quote from mrodgers :

never shit on your own.

i assume you mean on your own time and not to have someone in there with you to talk to.

now, this isnt the kind of karzy or company you want for a crap