the joke goes
one man walks into a bar, an other man ducked.
one man walks into a bar, an other man ducked.
A magic tractor goes down the hill and turns into a field.
A man goes into a pub and as he walks to the bar he notices that there are peices of meat nailed to the ceiling. He quite rightly considers this a very odd thing and as he orders his drink, he asks the barman about them.
"Oh, they're a little challenge we have going here." says the barman, "You pay £10 into the pot, we give you this stick and you have to try and knock them down from the ceiling. If you manage it, you get to keep the whole pot of cash. Do you want to have a try?"
"No, I don't think I will," replies the man, "the steaks are too high."
"Oh, they're a little challenge we have going here." says the barman, "You pay £10 into the pot, we give you this stick and you have to try and knock them down from the ceiling. If you manage it, you get to keep the whole pot of cash. Do you want to have a try?"
"No, I don't think I will," replies the man, "the steaks are too high."
What do you call a Scotsman who's half in his front door and half out?
Hamish.
Hamish.
What do you call a cross between a pig and a centipede?
Bacon and legs
Bacon and legs
David Guetta and Chuck Norris ran into each other... and Chuck asks Guetta: - "What do you mean The World is Mine??!?!?"
Police made a Raid on a semi detached house behind the Libary in Toxteth Liverpool, in it they foud 50 million in forged notes, 25 Kalashnikov Rifles, 10 S.A.M. missiles, 70 grenades over 100 hand guns, 2 tons of uncut heroin, an estimated million ecstasy tablets, and 25 trafficked Ukranian prostitutes, When interviewed a community spokesman said "I never knew we had a Libary"
(DarkTimes)
DELETED
by DarkTimes
Rick Astley asked me if he could borrow my collection of Pixar films.
"Okay," I said. "You can have Toy Story, Cars and Finding Nemo but I'm never gonna give you Up."
"Okay," I said. "You can have Toy Story, Cars and Finding Nemo but I'm never gonna give you Up."
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it
A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it
Why do blondes go to Church?
Because you have to kneel down.
/coat.
Because you have to kneel down.
/coat.
What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
Full.
Full.
"Doctor, Doctor I think I'm going deaf."
"Can you describe the symptoms?"
"Yes, Homer is fat and bald and Marge has big blue hair."
"Can you describe the symptoms?"
"Yes, Homer is fat and bald and Marge has big blue hair."
What do you get when you cross a Bulldog with a Shih-Tzu?
A dog.
A dog.
Why do cows have bells around their necks?
Because their horns don't work
Because their horns don't work
how do the Welsh find sheep in long grass?
bloody irresistible!
bloody irresistible!
It took about 10 mins for me to figure out how awesome this joke is
Someone's left a load of plasticine on my desk, I don't know what to make of it.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield ?
A Baboom!
What do you call a monkey in a minefield ?
A Baboom!
This works best when you say it to someone face-to-face, and yell the punchline at them as loudly as you can
What does a ghost say to a bee?
BOOBIE!
BOOBIE!
:iagree:I loled at this one :P
What kind of bees make milk?
Boo-bees.
Boo-bees.
Knock knock,
Who's there?
You
You Who?
Im you
Friend gave it to me, thought it was kinda funny
Who's there?
You
You Who?
Im you
Friend gave it to me, thought it was kinda funny
Oh dear, you're back.
The bad jokes thread
(1536 posts, started )
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