lol, red that canadian thing from one good book
hahah
I was about to suggest that this is the wrong thread. on second thought, it ain't :P
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the
place
place
I went to a wedding last weekend. The ceremony was so touching even the cake was in tiers.
I found this online, it's so bad it's not even really a joke.
What is green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
What is green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
It's orange and says it isn't an orange.
An orange.
what happens at the end?
the very end shows up
Latest Football news!
Alan Shearer today announced the new shirt sponsors for Newcastle Utd...From next season they will be sponsored by TAMPAX.
A spokesperson from Tampax said: "Supporting a bunch of c**ts through a bad period is what we do best!"
Alan Shearer today announced the new shirt sponsors for Newcastle Utd...From next season they will be sponsored by TAMPAX.
A spokesperson from Tampax said: "Supporting a bunch of c**ts through a bad period is what we do best!"
old but good
There was an unbelievably close finish in this years "Shemale of the year" contest.
It was a Thai.
It was a Thai.
This sex researcher phones one of the participants in a recent survey of his to check on a discrepancy. He asks the bloke, "In response to the question on frequency of intercourse you answered 'twice weekly'. Your wife, on the other hand, answered 'several times a night'."
"That's right," replies the bloke, "And that's how it's going to stay until our second mortgage is paid off."
"That's right," replies the bloke, "And that's how it's going to stay until our second mortgage is paid off."
Husband and wife decide to sign up for a job at MI5, they go to the recruiting place and the person responsible for recruting tells the Husband.
"We need to be sure that you can be comitted at all times, your wife is in that room, heres a gun, I want you to go in and shoot your wife"
the man thinks for a while but shakes his head and says he simply can't do it.
Then it's the wife's turn, the man says to her "your husband is in that room, I want you to prove you're comitted by going in there and shooting him with this gun"
So the wife says ok and goes in the room, shutting the door, the man hears several banging noises, after quite a while the wife is still in the room and the man is getting concerned, then the wife comes out of the room and says...
"You bastard! you didn't tell me this gun was loaded with blanks,
I had to beat the bastard to death"
"We need to be sure that you can be comitted at all times, your wife is in that room, heres a gun, I want you to go in and shoot your wife"
the man thinks for a while but shakes his head and says he simply can't do it.
Then it's the wife's turn, the man says to her "your husband is in that room, I want you to prove you're comitted by going in there and shooting him with this gun"
So the wife says ok and goes in the room, shutting the door, the man hears several banging noises, after quite a while the wife is still in the room and the man is getting concerned, then the wife comes out of the room and says...
"You bastard! you didn't tell me this gun was loaded with blanks,
I had to beat the bastard to death"
(A customer is looking at light-powered watches.)
Salesman: “It needs to be charged with 8 hours of direct sunlight or lamp light before it will keep time.”
Customer: “Does it have to be Australian sunlight, or can I take it to England and use it there?”
Salesman: “It needs to be charged with 8 hours of direct sunlight or lamp light before it will keep time.”
Customer: “Does it have to be Australian sunlight, or can I take it to England and use it there?”
The CIA, the FBI, and the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later dragging a badly beaten bear. The bear is screaming, "Okay, okay! I'm a RABBIT!! I'm a RABBIT!!"
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later dragging a badly beaten bear. The bear is screaming, "Okay, okay! I'm a RABBIT!! I'm a RABBIT!!"
amp88: Actually, that's not a bad joke.
Well quite a sick joke about Jade Goody just to warn yous. Dont read it if you don't want to.
Well you know the Fresh Prince of Bel Air Theme tune if you don't Clicky to the theme of it we have the Jade Goody song
in south east England i was born and raised on reality t.v i spent most of my days, being all racist and acting a fool, was disgusting destroyed all of the gene pool, when a couple of cells that were up to no good started making trouble in my v*****hood, i got one bit of cancer an my doctor got scated he said "we're putting you on chemo say goodbye to your hair!" ... i pulled up in a herse around 7 or 8 and yelled to my family "im in hell smell ya later!, looked at my tombstone i was finally there, to lie in my grave as the tit without hair!
Am away now.
Well you know the Fresh Prince of Bel Air Theme tune if you don't Clicky to the theme of it we have the Jade Goody song
in south east England i was born and raised on reality t.v i spent most of my days, being all racist and acting a fool, was disgusting destroyed all of the gene pool, when a couple of cells that were up to no good started making trouble in my v*****hood, i got one bit of cancer an my doctor got scated he said "we're putting you on chemo say goodbye to your hair!" ... i pulled up in a herse around 7 or 8 and yelled to my family "im in hell smell ya later!, looked at my tombstone i was finally there, to lie in my grave as the tit without hair!
Am away now.
I got one about Jade Goody sent to my phone, it said that David Blaines record for sitting in a box for 42 days has been broken by Jade Goody....
Yeah i also got that one too
Wife says to her husband "I need a piss, going to go for one in the bushes over there." Husband replies "Okay."
The husband goes over and puts his hand into the bushes and has a little feel and feels something dangling between his wifes legs, he says "Oi, have you had a sex change." She says "No, I've changed my mind, I'm going for a shit."
The husband goes over and puts his hand into the bushes and has a little feel and feels something dangling between his wifes legs, he says "Oi, have you had a sex change." She says "No, I've changed my mind, I'm going for a shit."
Jade Goody lovers piss off:
I heard that Elton John is going to release a charity record for Jade Goody.
It'll be called "Cancer in the Minge".
I went to Blockbusters to borrow "slumdog millionaire". When I got home I noticed there was a picture of Jade Goody on the case, so I took it back.
The guy in the shop said "Sorry, I thought you asked for 'Some dog missing hair.'"
Blow up dolls are just great aren't they,
I mean, where else can you find a woman that always looks shocked at the size of your c**k?
And jesus said unto his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross.
Dont touch my ****ing easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday.
Paddy and murphy are in a pub when a woman starts chokin on her food. As she starts to go blue in the face paddy rushes over an goes behind whips up her skirt and pulls her knickers down and licks up and down between the cheeks or her ass! the horrified woman gasps and spits the food across the room. Murphy says well done paddy, ive herd of the hind lick manouvre, but thats the 1st time ive seen it done !!
Little Ngobi from Ghana has to cycle 12 miles to school everyday on a bike with no saddle and buckled wheels. What's remarkable is is that has only one leg and is completely blind.
For a small donation of just €2 we will send you the video. It's ****ing hilarious
DriftWorks forum is AWSOME!!!
I heard that Elton John is going to release a charity record for Jade Goody.
It'll be called "Cancer in the Minge".
I went to Blockbusters to borrow "slumdog millionaire". When I got home I noticed there was a picture of Jade Goody on the case, so I took it back.
The guy in the shop said "Sorry, I thought you asked for 'Some dog missing hair.'"
Blow up dolls are just great aren't they,
I mean, where else can you find a woman that always looks shocked at the size of your c**k?
And jesus said unto his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross.
Dont touch my ****ing easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday.
Paddy and murphy are in a pub when a woman starts chokin on her food. As she starts to go blue in the face paddy rushes over an goes behind whips up her skirt and pulls her knickers down and licks up and down between the cheeks or her ass! the horrified woman gasps and spits the food across the room. Murphy says well done paddy, ive herd of the hind lick manouvre, but thats the 1st time ive seen it done !!
Little Ngobi from Ghana has to cycle 12 miles to school everyday on a bike with no saddle and buckled wheels. What's remarkable is is that has only one leg and is completely blind.
For a small donation of just €2 we will send you the video. It's ****ing hilarious
DriftWorks forum is AWSOME!!!
What do Jade Goody and Elvis have in common?
Not much 'till the other month.
Not much 'till the other month.
That's GENIUS.
The bad jokes thread
(1536 posts, started )
FGED GREDG RDFGDR GSFDG