I found this joke, just felt like posting it here
EPIC!!
A Tata Nano(Worlds cheapest car) breaks down on a roadside and a BMW 750 stops to help the old driver. "I will tow you to the next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash your lights"!
They set up slowly, but only a mile or so down the line a Merc S class AMG speeds past 120miles an hour. The BMW driver forgets about
the Nano and guns it after the Merc. Just as all 3 of them tear through
a speed trap, the cop radios the HQ "You won't believe I have a BMW and
Merc raising past 120 mile an hour with a Nano flashing its lights to
overtake"

For people who think if i can afford to race i can afford a license, my racing is entirely sponsored, this is the cheapest saloon car series on the planet. Majorly backed by toyota.

Name: Akshay Gupta
Total stats:
Travelled distance: 17827 Ml
Fuel burnt: 4841 Ltr
Laps: 7903
Hosts joined: 712
Races won: 498
Second: 401
Third: 289
Finished: 1966
Qualifications: 9
Pole Positions: 4
Drags / Wins: 0 / 0

Gp - 3 sectors - 2.05 Ml
XFG 0:30.040 1:06.920 1:33.710 WR-diff +0:00.970 7485 laps 1.22% fuel 13 Mar 2012, 14:01
XRG 0:30.320 1:07.630 1:35.330 WR-diff +0:02.970 87 laps 1.15% fuel 27 Feb 2012, 10:03
FBM 0:24.120 0:53.810 1:14.440 WR-diff +0:02.750 102 laps 1.29% fuel 21 Feb 2012, 09:02
Gp Rev - 3 sectors - 2.05 Ml
Rallyx - 2 sectors - 1.12 Ml
XFG 0:35.990 1:09.550 WR-diff +0:01.590 161 laps 0.97% fuel 16 Feb 2012, 19:22
XRG 0:36.760 1:10.990 WR-diff +0:02.650 68 laps 0.81% fuel 29 Feb 2012, 17:45
Rallyx Rev - 2 sectors - 1.12 Ml

I only drive XFG because that's what i race for real. Here is my profile which comes on national TV here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96djB-QZMEU , and this is where i race http://www.toyotaetiosmotorracing.in/ .

Total stats:
Travelled distance: 14572 Ml
Fuel burnt: 3976 Ltr
Laps: 6485
Hosts joined: 592
Races won: 398
Second: 323
Third: 248
Finished: 1616


XFG 0:29.990 1:06.940 1:33.730 WR-diff +0:00.940 6089 laps 1.22% fuel
XRG 0:30.320 1:07.630 1:35.330 WR-diff +0:02.970 78 laps 1.16% fuel
FBM 0:24.120 0:53.810 1:14.440 WR-diff +0:02.710 89 laps 1.3% fuel

Rallyx - 2 sectors - 1.12 Ml
XFG 0:35.990 1:09.550 WR-diff +0:01.590 161 laps 0.97% fuel 16 Feb 2012, 19:22
XRG 0:36.760 1:10.990 WR-diff +0:02.650 68 laps 0.81% fuel 29 Feb 2012, 17:45

Nver seen a Car going through so much Twist & Turns...Entertaining!!
Wait itz not bout Watching F1..!
.
Wel..itz alwayz Fun Watching a Women Parking her Car.!

I love racing, and lfs has the closest and the best racing online. Have been on demo for years, i want a license badly, i want to see how am i on other tracks and eager to open the other cars too.

Here are my stats

XFG 0:30.110 1:07.080 1:33.860 WR-diff +0:01.050 4842 laps 1.22% fuel 12 Feb 2012, 09:44

Travelled distance: 11564 Ml
Fuel burnt: 3161 Ltr
Laps: 5147
Races won: 286
Second: 258
Third: 193
Finished: 1276

Rallyx - 2 sectors - 1.12 Ml
XFG 0:35.990 1:09.550 WR-diff +0:01.590 154 laps 0.97% fuel 16 Feb 2012, 19:22

I play this game like everyday, people know me for wheel to wheel racing and my defensive skills. Almost everyone on lfs that is good and has raced with me with tell ya that its fun racing with me or its a challenge to pass me.

Problem solved, changed the motherboard and CPU and upgraded the RAM, now its dual core, inter original MB and 3 GB ram, thanks for helping everyone!

Quote from LazLoW :

Yeah when instability comes into play it's one of two things.
Hardware issues.
You need to reformat your hard drive.
Or both.

REFORMAT? i ain't doing that, changing this board and CPU in some time, if that doesn't work i will install windows 7, and if that doesn't work, **** LFS

This isn't working, after removing the card its worst, so its not the card, not the RAM, i think the processor or board is at fault, changing the board and processor tomorrow, lets see if that works out.

Tried, doesn't work bro.. Just removed the card , finding drivers for my stupid mother board now! lets see if this works

Tried USB thing, worst!!

Quote from MadCatX :

SpeedFan can log the temperatures, click on the "Charts" tab and tick "GPU" and "Core". Go play LFS and check the temperature graphs. Other causes of random crashes are faulty RAM or MB, but I guess you'd be seeing problems with other applications too if that was the case.

tried that, its normal all through, one funny thing happened yesterday. While playing lfs, this time i got a BLUE SCREEN ERROR and windows restarted. Now apart from DONT SENS ERROR, i am receiving this blue screen error too, and i cleaned registry and stuff, planning to throw this pc away and get a new one.

I didn't try the USB thing, although i think its useless, i play online, imagine playing online through a game which is stored inside the pen drive, it will be damn slow.

About the CPU fan for dust thing. I just installed a new motherboard, its as clean as it can be.

Quote from MadCatX :

Unless you have a really good cooling system and a weak CPU, it's impossible for a modern CPU to have 45 °C during gaming. You might be checking incorrect reading or the temp sensor could be faulty, which is quite common. You should certainly check the CPU fan for dust.

Did i say CPU, sorry bro, its GPU temp which is 45.
here is a pic

Also i am posting one more screen shot. Check this out.

Quote from kdo :

I was have that problem for an acer aspire 1690
If lfs was installed, impossible to run for similar error, but if i made a portable version of lfs on usb it work.
Dont know if that can help but try.
Cant send a screenshot of the error, laptop death :tombstone

will try and inform you about this, although i have 2-3 LFS installed in different drives within the hard disk for some reasons and they all seem to have the same problem, online or offline..

Quote from MadCatX :

Are you sure this is not overheating? Are you logging the CPU temp while the game runs, because the crash seems to be happening within LFS.

Yes, i saw the temperatures when the game crashed, and when the game was running. It seems fine. i get something like 45 degree's, which is normal, it shows a green tick mark besides it.

This is the pic of the error report, i clicked on show the technical details and it showed this.

This is what happens, while playing LFS there comes a DONT SEND ERROR REPORT. This was never a problem earlier, but now it is. The game shuts down after pressing don't send. To retify this i have done the following.

1) re installed LFS
2) re installed graphic drivers and all other drivers and also updated them
3) re installed operating system (XP sp2)
4) lowered the graphic requirement to the min
5) set FPS to 50, 40, 60, 70 , 100 and delimited it too
6) i have no mods
7) i am using DEMO version
8) no other game has the same problem or any other problem
9) i just installed a graphic card recently, also upgraded my motherboard, now i have a 9500GT 1 GB card, 2 GB ram, P4 2.8 GHz, and some mother board i don't know about.
10) my broadband speed is adequate and i face this problem even while i am offline
11) i have checked the GPU, and CPU temperatures, they are normal even while the game shuts down
12) i am uploading a pic of the error stuff, might help (can't upload the pic , BMP file is not supported )
13) it runs for sometime and all of a sudden it shuts down with an error, HELP

PLEASE IF SOMEONE KNOWS WHAT TO DO, HELP ME WITH IT....