Hi all. I was wondering if anyone could help me. I have a few problems.

a) Depression. I have been depressed for over four years now. Yet nearly everybody accuses me of faking it to gain attention, which is not what I do. Sure, I want help and comfort, But I don't try to fake it to gain attention. That is not my style. I need help.

b) Friends commiting suicide. Three in one year. I feel extremely upset and guilty about it, I know I shouldn't be, but I keep feeling that I should have done something.

c) Other problems.

Get a hold of me on MSN or Skype or here.

I seriously need help, I tried slicing my wrists at the weekend.

DK

Christ, you have got to relax and take a chill. My advice is go to a doctor or ring a helpline. I have known you for a good while and you are a really nice fellow, on TS, you seem really happy.
Just dont do anything crazy and dont listen to the idiot u were talking to earlier

Niall

1) Seek professional help (psychologist)
2) Don't ask for help in a forum full of motorheads, talk to people, friends and family
3) For gods sake, don't slit your wrists
4) Down the road, not across the street

FANG relax,you can't take the blame for peoples silly action's,not your fault mate,your a nice guy,relax and enjoy life

We all deal with things in different ways. I know that people telling you to chill out isn't going to help much.

I can tell you what has helped me over the years;
* Positive people in my life
* Change - break away from what's causing you grief. Either do this by moving away or getting a new job. Trust me, it works.
* Trying not to focus on the crap in life - no matter what's going on, odds are someone is worse off. I know this doesn't help because those people aren't in the same situation as you, despite this it's still true and if you focus on the first 2, this can help
* Get a hobby - I'll admit I'm personally still working on this one after the best part of 7 years and there are still things I feel like I can't do in public, but they can help
* Meeting other people - not easily done I'll admit
* Eating correctly - I'm a professional geek and as such I eat at weird times and in weird amounts. When I do this I feel like shit. Eating healthly can help some people.
* Distracting myself - if you don't feel confident to go out, find something you enjoy. My girlfirend of 3 years recently split up with me and I've found that (almost borderline obsessively) watching Scrubs have helped as I've slowly built up my confidence again
* Getting professional help - I've done this a few times, I can't tell you what will work for you because I don't know what's going on. Personally I don't find pills any use, and counciling wasn't great for me either. There is a right level for everyone though.

Most people who are actually depressed don't recognise it and think it's normal. If you recognise you're depressed then there's a good indication you're on the road to recovery.

If you want to chat about anything and feel like you can't talk to someone you know well, please send me a private message and I'll send you my details. Talking to someone you can't see can be liberating as there are simply no barriers.

[quote=AndroidXP;437852]1) Seek professional help (psychologist)
2) Don't ask for help in a forum full of motorheads, talk to people, friends and family
3) For gods sake, don't slit your wrists


Agreed. You need to consult the people you are closest to, even if it is painful to do so. We can't be of the same kind of help that a person who knows you can.

I know. I know how you feel, I am a diagnosed bi-polar manic depressive, and have attempted suicide numerous times. What I didn't realize, was there many MANY people in my life who wanted to help, but didn't know how to approach me about it. They wanted ME to say the first word, and I finally mustered up the courage to say so...and then all my pent up emotions spilled over. I also went to a professional, and that helped TREMENDOUSLY, because they knew nothing of me, and were objective.


And finally, just remember that God and Jesus are there for you, to listen to your prayers and thoughts, and have unconditional and boundless love for you, even if you choose to ignore them.

Listen to some cheerful music, and sure, thinking about those who committed suicide may just hurt you.

You gotta just forget all of that, and think of better ways to deal with your problems.

Professional help may be hard but it's better than a 14-year old Canadian telling you what to do :P

raven relax buddy everyone gets depressed even me , i suffered severely with it for a few years but i got over it , you just gotta take your time sit back and think about life that good and the bad and see what you make of it

Wow and he bought you s2! O_O

Quote from the_angry_angel :

We all deal with things in different ways. I know that people telling you to chill out isn't going to help much.

I can tell you what has helped me over the years;
* Positive people in my life
* Change - break away from what's causing you grief. Either do this by moving away or getting a new job. Trust me, it works.
* Trying not to focus on the crap in life - no matter what's going on, odds are someone is worse off. I know this doesn't help because those people aren't in the same situation as you, despite this it's still true and if you focus on the first 2, this can help
* Get a hobby - I'll admit I'm personally still working on this one after the best part of 7 years and there are still things I feel like I can't do in public, but they can help
* Meeting other people - not easily done I'll admit
* Eating correctly - I'm a professional geek and as such I eat at weird times and in weird amounts. When I do this I feel like shit. Eating healthly can help some people.
* Distracting myself - if you don't feel confident to go out, find something you enjoy. My girlfirend of 3 years recently split up with me and I've found that (almost borderline obsessively) watching Scrubs have helped as I've slowly built up my confidence again
* Getting professional help - I've done this a few times, I can't tell you what will work for you because I don't know what's going on. Personally I don't find pills any use, and counciling wasn't great for me either. There is a right level for everyone though.

Most people who are actually depressed don't recognise it and think it's normal. If you recognise you're depressed then there's a good indication you're on the road to recovery.

If you want to chat about anything and feel like you can't talk to someone you know well, please send me a private message and I'll send you my details. Talking to someone you can't see can be liberating as there are simply no barriers.

Very kind and meaningful words there, but what do you do when people constantly give advice simillar to yours? I've been 'chatting' with DK this past two months or so and believe me he just doesnt listen to others around him, so after all you can say over and over go get help, talk to loved ones, find new interests(hobbies/women whatever) etc. one starts to think it is all an act of seeking attention.

Imo DK that sad poetry you write every day can't be helping a great deal, if you feel down find a place of serenity in something and talk to loved ones around you because as android said this is a forum full of motor heads.

There's gotta be something to be cheerful about. Go out, search for it and enjoy the journey

Just think about all the people who care about you, and how much they would miss you. Also, think about all the fun things you have done in your life and have a good laugh. And... eat a bit of chocolate!
edit: sorry if this diddnt help, you are a realy nice guy, you bought someone S2!

Quote from anbiddulph :

you are a realy nice guy, you bought someone S2!

He has brought many people s2, and he is a great guy, there should be more of them in the the world

Quote from CSU1 :

Very kind and meaningful words there, but what do you do when people constantly give advice simillar to yours? I've been 'chatting' with DK this past two months or so and believe me he just doesnt listen to others around him, so after all you can say over and over go get help, talk to loved ones, find new interests(hobbies/women whatever) etc. one starts to think it is all an act of seeking attention.

I can understand what you mean by "not listening". People have told me the very same things and I've discounted it as bollocks. Quite frankly when I'm in the mood where I don't care, I think everyone is a ****ing ****, and usually there's nothing you can do to change it.

Time changes this perspective, it's just making sure there's enough time for this to happen.

I realize I'm being very callous here, but IMO, you'd have to be a complete moron to want to kill yourself. The only exception I see is in extreme cases of terminal illness, and even then, as long as you're here, you might as well enjoy it.

I am not speaking as one of those happy-go-lucky, life-is-so-grand crazies either. I dealt with depression the first 18 years of my life but I never considered suicide an option. Suck it up and move on.

Quote from Forbin :

I realize I'm being very callous here, but IMO, you'd have to be a complete moron to want to kill yourself. The only exception I see is in extreme cases of terminal illness, and even then, as long as you're here, you might as well enjoy it.

I am not speaking as one of those happy-go-lucky, life-is-so-grand crazies either. I dealt with depression the first 18 years of my life but I never considered suicide an option. Suck it up and move on.

I hate to say this, but you're not just being callous, you're being incredibly ignorant.

Depression takes many forms, and although to the majority suicide seems an unthinkable act, in some forms of depression it can seem the only escape.

Understanding, compassion and support is needed, not ill-informed opinions like yours.

Last time I checked depression is a state of mind were you're constantly beating yourself down, i.e 'I cant do this' 'This wont work' 'I have no existance' and so forth.

Definition of depression :
a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity

Because the nature of this illness is such that it just goes in circles, the less you do the worse it gets. To help break the cycle you need to do stuff you don't normally do, like jump around sing or dance or something just way out of the ordinary. Although it doesn't sound like much it will help more then you probably think, most people under depression have some sort of routine/comfort zone. Some people like to retreat to the homes/rooms and just shut away from the world and others like to eat or drink, this is where the problem escalates and gets worse. You need to break that cycle doing what you usually do to numb yourself, so instead of doing whatever it is you do. Jump around, go outside and find weird stuff or anything just aslong as you break the cycle.

This place is a good forum http://www.uncommonforum.com/ for all things mental health and such, a friend of mine suffered from panic attacks and anxiety and said the people there were very helpful for her recovery.

I think you just need to remember that this isn't a piss take illness, and it truly is an illness, although admittedly I used to think it was lies Just keep your chin up mate and don't self harm, there are zillions of brilliant things in life mate! I bet you don't own an M3 yet? Probably about time you do something bout it eh?

Good luck and get well soon mate, also don't be afraid about seeing your GP because he/she will understand so don't sweat it. Like they say on TV

'Its good to talk!'






P.S : This is just advice I'm no Doctor and I haven't suffered from depression but my dads loves documentaries and I used to have to wait to watch The Simpsons.

Quote from Rooble :

Last time I checked depression is a state of mind were you're constantly beating yourself down, i.e 'I cant do this' 'This wont work' 'I have no existance' and so forth.

Definition of depression :
a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity

Because the nature of this illness is such that it just goes in circles, the less you do the worse it gets.

....the less you know about it the worse it gets too, sometimes depression sufferers show mild sympthoms of bipolar or OCD which both can be confused as depression. My advice go se a quack if you feel any worse in the future.

I hope you get over it Scott, just enjoy stuff a bit more

Just dropping by.

DK

Quote from DieKolkrabe :

Just dropping by.

DK

What a post

Quote from 11SuLLy11 :

What a post

again, what a post

Quote from Rooble :

Last time I checked depression is a state of mind were you're constantly beating yourself down, i.e 'I cant do this' 'This wont work' 'I have no existance' and so forth.

Definition of depression :
a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity

Because the nature of this illness is such that it just goes in circles, the less you do the worse it gets. To help break the cycle you need to do stuff you don't normally do, like jump around sing or dance or something just way out of the ordinary. Although it doesn't sound like much it will help more then you probably think, most people under depression have some sort of routine/comfort zone. Some people like to retreat to the homes/rooms and just shut away from the world and others like to eat or drink, this is where the problem escalates and gets worse. You need to break that cycle doing what you usually do to numb yourself, so instead of doing whatever it is you do. Jump around, go outside and find weird stuff or anything just aslong as you break the cycle.

This place is a good forum http://www.uncommonforum.com/ for all things mental health and such, a friend of mine suffered from panic attacks and anxiety and said the people there were very helpful for her recovery.

I think you just need to remember that this isn't a piss take illness, and it truly is an illness, although admittedly I used to think it was lies Just keep your chin up mate and don't self harm, there are zillions of brilliant things in life mate! I bet you don't own an M3 yet? Probably about time you do something bout it eh?

Good luck and get well soon mate, also don't be afraid about seeing your GP because he/she will understand so don't sweat it. Like they say on TV

'Its good to talk!'






P.S : This is just advice I'm no Doctor and I haven't suffered from depression but my dads loves documentaries and I used to have to wait to watch The Simpsons.

Rooble, I can agree with most of what you said, I often go thru periods of depression, and the best way for me to get out of it, is to randomly call up someone I haven't spoken to in a while, and just do different things to what I'm adjusted to in a depressed state and that usually helps for a while. Another good way to help is to treat yourself, like if you go for coffee usually and get the $2.50 coffee every time, treat yourself and get a more expensive coffee, or instead of getting a small or medium, get a large and treat yourself. (Using coffee as a relevant example to myself, can be applyed to other items or even computer games).

Sometimes too, positive things (Girls, ectera) can set you off into depressive states, just because you expect more from what has happened it makes you more depressed because you have a higher standard for stuff happening. The best idea though is to stay positive, find someone who you can talk to and who listens, and be open with them.

Back again.

@whoever said girls: I'm feeling worse since a friend started talking to me again.

@whoever said expensive stuff: Good idea. But my parents read my card statements and scream at me if I buy anything expensive.

@whoever mentioned people listening. You haven't seen my MSN list. Two (count 'em) people on there I feel able to talk to. And one of them's making me feel worse by accusing me of faking it all.

*is confused*

DK

Er...

Might not be relevant, but: If you're taking a lot of recreational drugs, stop. That goes for drinking, too.