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The LFS Jaffa Cake Challenge
(348 posts, started )
Quote from mrbogeyman :Anyway, I hope you think this video is up to your standard Kev :P and that you wont judge me harshly! You can see how much effort I have put into this! Please dont make me have to go into the same shop again and buy ANOTHER 24!

www.themurrays.vispa.com/jaffa2.avi

mrbogeyman scores... DISQUALIFIED!

Oh I feel awful, I truly do, but that was not a legal effort. There appears to be chewing between 0:17 and 0:22 after you insert each side cake, in clear violation of regulation #2 which states "All Jaffa cakes must be held, whole, within the mouth prior to munching" - the cakes must remain intact. Even if this is legitimate as you declare, rule 7 is infringed when a large lump of sponge exits your mouth at 0:51, and there are other lumps of sponge in the vicinity of your cakehole at the time, suggesting that the integrity of one or more cakes has been compromised.

Again, I'm especially sad to see this attempt fail because of the beautiful moment at 0:54 where you cough and start laughing, but still manage to continue. And the bit immediately afterwards where you spend some time counting the remaining jaffa cakes on your desk with a puzzled expression on your face before excitedly gesturing the number you have managed to cram into your gob.

Please don't go and buy any more, I cannot bring myself to disqualify you again, but I fear I'll have to because there are still three or four rules you haven't yet broken.
bah! I fear your efforts to adjudicate this league are taking away from the true spirit!

Id like to ask the other competitors if they will accept BOTH of my vids as evidence? Surely seeing as ive done it twice! Hmm, 14...theres a challenge :faint:

I said in my post I wasn't chewing them, I was just moving them..........

Anyway, no more Jaffas for me, they make me sick now!

Myabe Ill just try and break allllll the rules....stick it to the man!
I'm waiting for the video where you illegally use a movable aerodynamical device to insert the cakes.

Vain
Quote from mrbogeyman :bah! I fear your efforts to adjudicate this league are taking away from the true spirit!

If I allowed smashed-up jaffa cakes it would be unfair to the other contestants who have already managed a legal scoff, and the whole thing would descend into anarchy!

Sorry. Your entries were very entertaining though. Even my girlfriend thinks I'm a meanie for D/Q-ing you!
you are! she should beat you with a stick for me! unless you like that........
im still not sure if i should enter ... i find orange sweets disgusting most of the time (those being british doenst help in that respect) and havent got a cam available

Quote from thisnameistaken :Sorry. Your entries were very entertaining though. Even my girlfriend thinks I'm a meanie for D/Q-ing you!

how the hell did a guy whod show a girl those videos get a gf ?
Quote from Shotglass :how the hell did a guy whod show a girl those videos get a gf ?

She's propably a Jaffa Cake addict.

Vain
She wanted to enter!
Quote from thisnameistaken :She wanted to enter!

I want a video of that.

btw my jaffa cakes are bought but I'm going to do the challenge tomorrow for lunch.
Team ferrarian red files a complaitnant against pretty much everybody:

Let's look at number 6:
"6) All confection must remain fully within the bounds of the mouth during the attempt. If any cake or cakes is pushed out beyond the perimeter outlined in rule #4 during the mastication stage, the attempt will be declared void."

Now, if there are crumbs, this rules is clearly being broken and severe punishment must follow!!!11 If a participant inserts crumbs into his mouth during the processing of jaffa goo, suggests the whole affair of crumb insertion that a jaffa cake (one or more) has been under pre tampering prior to the actual video engagement. As this breaks the rules, a disqualification must follow!



Then the rule number 8:
"8) During mastication no foreign bodies, including but not limited to: Fingers, sticks, spatulas, whisks, hand blenders, forks, screwdrivers, hamsters, may be used to aid the jaffa cake destruction process."
If a person uses his outer limbs (fingers) to insert small sections of jaffa cakes into his mouth, he is aiding the jaffa cake crunshing process by putting his fingers into the mouth. As the rule 8 is severely breached here, a disqualification must follow!


X_________________
signature^^

Bond, James Bond. Attorney at Jaffa Cake Law, also known as the jafaah!
what.........?
Well Tristan doesnt know it yet , but I just turned into his lawyer ...

Let court proceed ...

Quote :"6) All confection must remain fully within the bounds of the mouth during the attempt. If any cake or cakes is pushed out beyond the perimeter outlined in rule #4 during the mastication stage, the attempt will be declared void."

This simply is not a factor in either of Tristans attempts.

EDIT : Upon further information brought to my attention , in still 1:09 Tristan even goes as far as to provide a side-on view in front of the camera for viewers to check his mcvities are indeed within the boundaries of the regulations.

Quote :Now, if there are crumbs, this rules is clearly being broken and severe punishment must follow!!!11 If a participant inserts crumbs into his mouth during the processing of jaffa goo, suggests the whole affair of crumb insertion that a jaffa cake (one or more) has been under pre tampering prior to the actual video engagement

Tristan completly covered his back on this one as the video " jaffa_cake_challenge.wmv " , as uploaded by himself , around stills 0:21 and around 2:10 , clearly shows his JC's being prepared in front of the camera , straight from the pack , without much " tampering " at all.

Also , the crumbs that accumulate during Tristans JCC attempt , as shown in still 4:00 , are clearly noted as extremely small , literally atoms of Jaffa Cake substance , and thus it has to be taken into consideration when attempting the JCC twice in a row , that the beforementioned cake crumbs can be found on the desk , or in tristans later case ... in his lap ( nice going buddy ).

Quote :If a person uses his outer limbs (fingers) to insert small sections of jaffa cakes into his mouth

To round off , as shown again in evidence-still 4:01 of the footage , no FOB goes within even a few cm of the competitors mouth. The crumbs are placed in with a sharp flick of the wrist aimed into the mouth.

court adjurned

Calum
Quote from Calum :Well Tristan doesnt know it yet , but I just turned into his lawyer ...

Are you jaffa-cake law approved?
Quote from Calum :Let court proceed ...

It just got started anyways
Quote from Calum :This simply is not a factor in either of Tristans attempts.

Irrelevant just because it is. And it is not. Because simply this factor not being is, but true, ok.
Quote from Calum :Tristan completly covered his back on this one as the video " jaffa_cake_challenge.wmv " , as uploaded by himself , around stills 0:21 and around 2:10 , clearly shows his JC's being prepared in front of the camera , straight from the pack , without much " tampering " at all.

But the crumbs are there!!!1111111235
Quote from Calum :Also , the crumbs that accumulate during Tristans JCC attempt , as shown in still 4:00 , are clearly noted as extremely small , literally atoms of Jaffa Cake substance , and thus it has to be taken into consideration when attempting the JCC twice in a row , that the beforementioned cake crumbs can be found on the desk , or in tristans later case ... in his lap ( nice going buddy ).

The rule makes no difference of the size of the subject. And if we take it to the point, it is not about the size, it how you use it/them Also the fact that the crumbs visited his private parts is a direct indication of pre precessing crumb harassment = tampering, which must result in disqualification!
Quote from Calum :To round off , as shown again in evidence-still 4:01 of the footage , no FOB goes within even a few cm of the competitors mouth. The crumbs are placed in with a sharp flick of the wrist aimed into the mouth.

court adjurned

Calum

And you are a participant of this event which clearly make thy presence as a court... uhm...dictator being a vague business, alas cheatink! The ferrarian red team does not accept thy judgement and shall thou be left in the well by thy jaffa cakes to wear thou upon stringy boise!!!"!#%

To be noted later on, any decisions made must be first approved by the ferrarian red, simply because.


X_________________
signature^^

Bond, James Bond. Attorney at Jaffa Cake Law, also known as the jafaah!
lol, i played tristans 4 times fast and found the noises pretty entertaining, but that's just me. Also i noticed, i can get my fist in prtty far, i just don't want to go to far.

Tristan did not violate any laws to me, it seemed peftectly flawless.
o.k sorry but I didnt really understand ...

Quote :Irrelevant just because it is. And it is not. Because simply this factor not being is, but true, ok.

and

Quote :And you are a participant of this event which clearly make thy presence as a court... uhm...dictator being a vague business, alas cheatink! The ferrarian red team does not accept thy judgement and shall thou be left in the well by thy jaffa cakes to wear thou upon stringy boise!!!"!#%

To be noted later on, any decisions made must be first approved by the ferrarian red, simply because.

but anyway in answer to your other points ...

Quote :Are you jaffa-cake law approved?

I studied at Oxford.

Quote :But the crumbs are there!!!1111111235

actually you never do see the crumbs , what Tristan does in relation to " putting the crumbs in " , as he admits , lasts under a second , and he has already digested a large portion of said cake. If he was putting crumbs in with his mouth only just being filled , then that could definately be suspicious , but he has already consumed at least 50% of the jaffa's before he even puts his hand up.

Quote :The rule makes no difference of the size of the subject

What competition are you watching ?? of course size makes a massive difference in this sport.

So your saying a full jaffa cake crumpled into crumbs is the same as ( in Tristans case ) a minute couple of crumbs that takes under a second for him to empty from his palm into his mouth. His hand goes up and then straight back down.

Quote :Also the fact that the crumbs visited his private parts is a direct indication of pre precessing crumb harassment

The crumbs that frequented this area , Tristan ( thankfully ) did not gather up to be consumed , the ones on the desk yes , but lap no. And considering he had already attempted a 1st trial with 5 JCs , there is absolutely no proof that the crumbs did not originate from the first attempt , and again like said in my above paragraph , in neither attempt is there noticably large fragments of Jaffa , enough to be considered for disqualification. I think its crazy to think 5 or 6 jaffa's can be eaten at once without spilling crumbs. and I'll refer you to rule 4 to note that the mouth doesnt have to be closed , and so hardly noticable crumbs are an everyday part of this sport.

Quote :And you are a participant of this event

I am still quite unsure what you mean by all of that ( very long ) sentance , but I have not actually said anywhere I will be competing at all , and so i'm definately able to judge fairly.

But I fully advise we should allow TNIT to decide.

Calum
I did mention to Tristan that his "crumbs" activity was a bit contentious, but because no crumbs were seen to leave his mouth, I could only assume that the crumbs never entered his mouth in the first place.

I also could not conclude whether the crumbs were parts of the cakes he imbibed or from other cakes in his general vicinity. Tristan adequately demonstrated the structural integrity of his jaffas prior to insertion and as such I saw no need to penalise him for an absent-minded bit of crumb collection during the mastication phase.

I concluded that the "crumbs" sequence was either nervous activity, having been doing nothing but chewing cakes infront of a camera to close to a minute, or that he was fastidiously clean as many genteel pansies from the south of England tend to be.

Edit: I should also state that I have no Tristan bias, except for the fact that I have already declared how much I would like to see Tristan lose, but that goes without saying really.
thank you ,

good ( and I really think fair ) call !
You guys are wonderful people really. Okay, wonderful, mad, spammy, crazy, looney, worrying people... The last, what, 18 posts have been some absolute classic ones. I want to quote ALL of them in my sig, but alas, no one would ever see the forum again...

My attempt at a legal 7 has been postponed now, probably until Monday or Tuesday, as I'm going away for the weekend and I'm shattered (and thus even less photogenic than normal) now. I can't wait to see if 7 is required to keep my status as winner (currently joint with with Madman).
maybe a 3rd(4th!-I have another vid u never saw :P) attempt at a legal 7 for me too....
Quote from Hyperactive :
Bond, James Bond. Attorney at Jaffa Cake Law, also known as the jafaah!

LOL! that is perfect :P, I wonder if someone would send me a packet or 2 of Jaffa Cakes, so I can own Tristan, because its an unknown fact, but I have a very nimble jaw, and a very amazingly large mouth, so large in fact I can eat 2 mcdonalds cheeseburgers at once.


*ponders another competition... <.<*

Mods, could we have a misc. competition forum for these things? :P
good luck to both Tristan and MBM.

GO FOR 9 SRAIGHT OUT YOU GUYS !

I know it seems crazy , but dont even think about it , just throw 9 in there and see how the evening pans out lolol.

Calum
Quote from Captain Slow :hhmmmmmmmm, jaffa cakes are for sissy`s, try fitting your own fist in your mouth.

yes i know im going back a page or two, but i only left this thread for a few hours! But my cousin can do this, its rather disturbing.
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Just posting this to make it perfectly sure to anyone reading this understands that <almost> all the stuff I posted is meant 100% in humorous way

Btw. I have contacted the Bernie Jaffastone, the official Jaffa1 pwner/jaf00 and I bet we will see some new breakthrough ...ehm.. effects in near future, or maybe even in the past

I'll take my jaffas and go sleeping now. And please, I hope I remember the bucket this time too
Quote from Hyperactive :Just posting this to make it perfectly sure to anyone reading this understands that <almost> all the stuff I posted is meant 100% in humorous way

That doesn't make you any less freakish and scary!

I've got you on the competitors list, but haven't heard you talk up your own attempt yet - are you still in?

The LFS Jaffa Cake Challenge
(348 posts, started )
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