Quote :

Today, I came home early from work to surprise my son with a new mountain bike for his birthday. To keep it a surprise I carried it quietly up to his bedroom. As I opened the door I heard my son say "Oh man, you're gonna make me cum" to the nice girl he was on top of. He just turned 14. FML

Quote :

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

Quote :

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

LOL at those!

She must be a pornstar and no longer has any feeling back there.

Quote from wheel4hummer :

She must be a pornstar and no longer has any feeling back there.

You ruined the thread... xD

i was just wondering if there is some LFS'ers that also read FML.


http://www.fmylife.com/

for those who dont know what it is:

its a web site that u write what happend to you today and you end your post with '' .FML ''

Quote :

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy sm ... made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and ... inds me of how you smell." FML

oh yeah... if u have kids/wife/girlfriend(s) ... well if u have a life try not read the innapropriate ones

lol! i read them al the time

yay !

dont flame me but when i created the thread there was nothing that popped up..

Nah, it's fine with me. I probably wouldn't have noticed either because the thread was FMyLife, not FML.

Ontopic: I like the ones about sex. They're really funny because the best moment of their life (probably) becomes their worst or most embarrasing.

Quote :

Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashie ... hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my ... paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML

Quote :

Today, we got my brother a pet ... s trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be ... about caring for others. I walked into the room and th ... hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

awww

Quote :

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open ... ked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

Quote :

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shir ... quot; His friends agreed. FML

yeah. those about sex are quite epic. i cant stop laughing afer 5-6 of them




*WARNING* this can be quite disturbing

there is this one that i saw a couple of months ago. it allways makes me laugh

Quote :

Today, I came back from school to hear my sister mastur... inside her room. I decide to walk my dog around the block... when i come back 5 minutes later, i see my sister coming out of her room... with my electric toothbrush in hand. FML

Quote :

today, i had sex with a new guy. after we were done, he notice ... to it, producing a flame. after, when he left, i sat there, naked, mortified. fml

sounds like somthing i'd do.

Quote :

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and wa ... me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pul ... couldn't get out in time. FML

This had me laughing for so long xD

Edit:

Quote :

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML

Oh my God.... No freaking way xD

Quote :

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my balls. FML

XD.... he deserved it..

Quote from el pibe :

XD.... he deserved it..

FCKN PMSL ROOOOFLLL
That was an EPIC one!!!

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

Lmao!

Hmm, since I'm with a new mobile ISP while away from home for a while, I can't access FML due to their intercepting-proxy style content monitoring...FML

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

Went out today to buy Emmy her first new moped/scooter...seems like only yesterday that I was teaching her how to walk!! FML.

Quote from jamesc :

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

Quote from Bladerunner :

Went out today to buy Emmy her first new moped/scooter...seems like only yesterday that I was teaching her how to walk!! FML.

Hahahahahha