When I was working at Tesco today, a customer was being rude to me, so I scanned him in the eyes with the barcode reader.
You should have seen the look on his face, it was priceless.
I'm a bit worried about my girlfriend - she didn't come home last night. She left a note on the fridge yesterday morning which said "This isn't working, goodbye". I took a look at it and it seemed OK to me; the food was still cold.